The Evolution of Stillness into our Truth

Have you ever felt that you have so much to share you are going to burst open with the sheer excitement of all that you wanted to share, but also felt that there is already a plethora of information already being shared, or you feel nervous to share?

And to be honest some of the information being shared is super confusing!!!

So how do you share without becoming just another confusing message? How do you stand in your truth without offending others? How do you speak the truth from your heart, and share with others so that they can benefit from what you wish to share?

As I stood feet fully rooted & connected as if they had long encircling tendrils of roots of their own, fully supported by your strong vastness of grace & your ultimate magnitude of destruction of what was shaping each moment into what is to be.. Each droplet a reminder that we are no different than each of your droplets that create the vastness of entire universe,

This process of evolution shifting, swirling, tossing, jostling through the rough jagged terrain, the waves so mighty and powerful continue to draw me closer and closer to the times I work so diligently to avoid at every cost of my being…

You continue to draw me in deeper and deeper until I can no longer hold my breath, my lungs aching for reprieve from the sting of each breath as I plunge deeper and deeper into the sheer ache of processing each moment that was so eloquently place in front of each step I take…

The words that fill my soul each within themselves a silent scream longing to be released awakened from the light of the moon as she calls to me night after night to stand in my truth let it all out, share, love, and release..

I knew it that fateful day as I stood in the ocean, waves crashing all around my body, pulling me in deeper and deeper into my truth, urging me to take the plunge and dive in, go ahead dear child your words are important, speak your truth, share your love, evolve from the fear of upsetting or confusing others.

I close my eyes as the warm water comes to a standstill and I am submerged in a warm pool of softness, the night sky darkens and all that is visible is she who lights my way, the moon, and all her gentle kind loving encouragement whispering softly go ahead it’s time, you know exactly what to do, write through the awareness of love, feel into your passion, and share what feels authentic to you, go ahead dear child close your eyes, and drift into sleep you are exactly where you are meant to be supported by your truth and all the wisdom of what has always been yours will guide you when you are ready to share what comes so naturally to your heart.

Was it all a dream, did it really happen? It felt so real, and there’s a new sense of peace that fills me as I slowly open my eyes expecting to see the sun shining brightly because it must be morning already I feel so rested and relaxed, but as I stand to open the curtains, there she is shining brightly up in the night sky shinning down upon us all as a drip of water falls to the floor I noticed I’m drenched as if I really was in the ocean, the illusion real, yet such a awakening experience, yes it had to real right?

Evolution is very much like an illusion feeling as if was there, happening before our eyes, knowing it’s for our benefit, yet fleeting just as fast as it comes. Fear she encircles the heart, and paralyzes the throat, and the cycle continues as it’s always been, best to keep the thoughts inside, and not share for what’s another opinion, what’s another writer of love sharing her words of encouragement, and evolution..?..

We get so drawn onto the romantic idea that the world is meant to always be beautiful, in which it is always beautiful, yet when evolution is occurring it can feel like the beauty of life is being pulled right out from underneath our feet.

It can feel like we’re lost when we’re in the midst of growth, it can feel like we’re alone, and that no one else understands exactly what we’re going through. It’s true nobody else does understand what exactly you experience, but there is not one of us that gets away with not going through challenging times!!!! We all must experience these moments in order to move beyond what is no longer meant for us.!!

Evolution is not romantic in the sense we think it ought to be. We know all too well just how uncomfortable any type of change can be… and before we know it we are pulled into the loving embrace of evolution.

If you’ve ever felt scared, or too shy to share from your heart regardless of what’s happening in the world, please know that you are not alone!! But also know that the world needs to hear what’s in your heart, the world is in a space of BIG Evolution right now, and the time is now to share what tools you have learned to bring you to where you are now, and to share how you are feeling, share your love, and see how sharing our love, and speaking our truth can elevate our evolution!

Evolution is not just about the outcome, or making it to our destination, it’s about holding yourself in the raging currents that pull you in every direction, it’s about falling when you fall, and knowing that you are always falling into the space in which you are always held. You cannot fall apart, you are always whole, and that wholeness is what keeps you rooted and grounded to weather any storm that passes, and to know that the storm is a very important part of the evolution process.

Come along with me, and let us sit together under the moon, find your breath as you close your eyes, and feel into the quiet stillness that surrounds you… Feel yourself being held by the earth beneath you, feel your breath as it expands into every cell of your body, notice how it feels to be full of life energy….. Softly blow your exhalation out of your lips as slowly as you can until you feel that there is no more air left….. Notice the stillness within, the stillness that surrounds you…. Sit with me for as long as you need, let what comes to the surface gather until you feel calmly grounded within your heart.

Your heart will know when it’s time, and the time will be the right time for you to share, and the world will rejoice benefiting from the love within your heart.

Until next week loves,

♥️C

Re-Birth

The words they keep calling, and calling to me to awaken… I jolted, and startled the other morning with all of these words running around in my head, I could not shake them… I would breathe in, and exhale, but the words kept their hold over me, like I was being wrapped up in a BIG GIANT uncomfortable, yet needed hug..

There’s only one thing this means for me… it’s time to sit down and write the words to share, and release all that is ready to come out.

Writing for me has become such an incredible way to rebirth, and a learning of meeting myself where I am, and not where I feel I should be.

“She” kept calling to her and pleading with her to listen to important the call… But she, would not listen, NO she did NOT want to go back there again to be in isolation and that uncomfortable feeling of being disconnected…. “NO!” she kept telling that voice she just couldn’t do it anymore!!

And then after many years of this inner dialog it naturally happened on it’s own without her consent, without her being on board. It happened naturally just as she knew deep down it should… But wait wasn’t “She”, (the deep inner knowing she of me) urging me to listen to the call, and why did she continue no matter how many times I shooed her away?.. Weren’t we all being called to listen to the call? Weren’t we all shooing that inner voice away?.. I’m most certain that my inner voice was not the only one urging me to stop and listen… I know I was in need of a break, but how to get off the rollercoaster, how to find the time for this most important break? How was there going to be the time to look inward, and to find the space of what I/ we were all wanting, needing and urging to have? The urgent call arrived, and it’s happened just as naturally as it was always meant to happen… Not the way we planned, not one bit at all was this how we saw the re-birth playing out..

You can feel it in us all from the onset that this was not the way we intended this break to happen. There has to be a better way right? It’s so unfamiliar, yet familiar at the same time because it’s so uncomfortable to not be in total complete control. Some of us have said “Wait we don’t want this, make it go away!!!! Take us back to normal life right this instant!!”

It’s such a big change to step away from the old pain regardless if it’s meant to happen, or very much needed as it is in this most uncomfortable experience in life, because I can speak for she of my inner me, normal life was too much fun to stop and listen, it was moving along as it should, no interruption was needed so we all thought..

You see you and me we’re really no different from one another, we all want to live our lives joyfully, and free from any suffering or pain. However the reality of suffering and pain is what needed to happen and very much needed to be our new reality.

On a subconscious level we know the pain of birth from the experience of our own birth into these physical body’s. And sadly all too often the pain becomes hidden and gets deeply buried as we journey though life. We learn how to live life within the process of how life is meant to live according to society, and the pain gets hidden under the surface. The way back to ourselves is the natural journey of how we learn to uncover each layer from the surface to live in the birthright of our life, and to learn and discover that there is a balance to it all, and it’s not going to be all peaches, and cream, or all roses and playful, there’s got to be work that needs to be done.

This journey in which we live definitely comes with pain and suffering as we all know, yes there are the happy moments that we like to cling to because they are more pleasant because the thought of pain and suffering can and does feel so uncomfortable, but this is our time to explore the uncomfortableness, and to find comfort in the pain so that we can unlearn the old patterns of the shield of armor we clothed ourselves with.

What comes to your mind when you hear the word “armor?”

For me I see a tall armored knightress standing in front of a castle (yes I imagine it’s my castle:) she’s all protected covered head to toe in sturdy strong steel armor , and ready every day to step into battle for the fight of her life just to save my life. She’s poised, ready and “IS” the baddest bad ass warrior’ess you’ve ever seen, because she’s my protector, my own personal amor that no words, or experiences can stop her from the protection she provides.

Does this sound like what your armor might look like, or maybe something similar?

So now the question how do we not just let go of the armor, or shove it deep deep away so that that those damn uncomfortable feelings don’t come back while we do the unlearning to find our new normal to meet ourselves right here where we are when it’s time to go back out into the world?!?

It’s like a re-birth just like any mother knows as she births her baby’s there will be pain, but after birth there is so much joy, such an awakening that holds so much promise of new beginnings with so much to explore and love that the pain of the birth is no longer apart of our pain body consciousness, but held in the consciousness of the mind and heart as an awareness of the journey into one of the greatest gifts in life.

Each mother has a very different experience because it’s their own unique individual experience, and that’s exactly what each of us has this opportunity to play out in our own unique re-birth. We don’t have to agree in how we travel through this re-birth, or how much longer it takes some of us to walk ourselves back home to ourselves. Just as we all have different eyes, hair color, personalities, hearts, and souls, so is our individual unique journey.

It’s funny when the need to write calls to me I know just how much writing is such a BIG part of my souls journey yet I still dig my heels in, and find other things that are way more important to do… I procrastinate and procrastinate, over, and over, and over again, and again… Why? Because that’s the OLD pattern, the one that gets so ingrained into our pain body, that it’s beyond scary to not stay attached to the familiar pain we’ve each created in order to survive.

Re-birthing is seeing the patterns that are not working for us, and sitting with them, and digesting them just as we do our food, and wanting the clothes that we insist will fit again if we can just lose a few pounds. It’s not about losing these old patterns, but it’s about really tasting them just as we would our favorite food, or dessert. It’s about finding the love in each situation, and looking into how love is there to show us the awareness of how we can come from a place of love, not only for ourselves, but love in each and every experience to thrive in life.

This re-birth can definitely be EXTREMELY uncomfortable, and it will be at times, however if we think about all of the most uncomfortable experiences we’ve learned from in life we see that we can get back on the bike after we’ve skinned our knee from falling off, or getting back into anything that’s meaningful to us, because life is ALWAYS happening for us, and NEVER AGAINST us.

Sure there’s lots of fear out there, and there will always be the fear of fear, but fear as I’ve learned is the call to action. These moments of fear are not always the call to challenge the fear we might feel from the media, or things that others might say that open old fear wounds or uncomfortable feelings that creep in in these moments of fear. Fear means that we care, and we want to do our best, and if there’s fear then we are bringing into action what is calling for our attention right? Interesting questions to ponder.

Our biggest awareness in this lifetime is to do what is right, and to live in love in all that we do. There will be days that you want to crawl under the covers and eat an entire pint or more of ice cream, or sip on a bottle of wine at night, or whatever brings you that extra comfort in trying times, but really if we are always pushing ourselves to buck up, and shove that shit away, then we will miss the best part of life, and that’s to live this experience in love regardless of what might be happening. Doing what is right is NOT forcing ourselves to be right for everybody else. Doing what is morally right in the name of love is giving yourself space to live life in conscious awareness. We need to cry when we feel the need to cry, laugh, serve others, dance, scream, rant, explore, heal, and exercise when we need to connect to these feelings, because these are all natural ways that our body and mind are designed to release. They key is to not get too attached to these feelings, and to see them just like our breath, the feelings come in just like an inhale, and they soften just enough on the exhale to be acknowledged, felt, heard, and guide us to the next breath, and the next moment. Sitting with the uncomfortable thoughts and awareness is important, it’s in the moments we take the deep breath to clear the path, and get up to take that one step to move beyond the pain, and to see that the pain is what brought us to the courage of taking that step, even if it’s just one step that day, it’s ok. That’s true re-birth.

All that I’ve written and shared about takes time to cultivate, and it’s all apart of the journey. There is no magical moment when you get hit with the feeling that you are healed, and enlightened from your pain, but what does come is freedom from the uncomfortable attachment. I love that the feeling of coming home to ourselves can come in the most interesting places, like a laundromat, gas station, or a stop light where you had no idea how long you were stopped there because life just feels and looks so fucking beautiful that the stop light or anything that’s happening around you really doesn’t matter, even if you’re being honked at my not one, but serval car horns, all that matters is the gift of your messy, imperfect gloriously joy filled, complicated beautiful uncomfortable life!!!!

For me what helps is to serve others, and to create content of an exchange of energy. Teaching yoga has brought me to more tears than I’ve EVER EVER wanted to release, and to more uncomfortable exchanges with myself, family and friends, but I would NEVER give up ANY of these opportunities to grow together no matter how uncomfortable any of them have been.

This experience has brought up so many emotions within myself, and towards my family and friends, the health of the world, the families that have lost their loved ones, the tirelessly working doctors, nurses, front line workers, first responders, our world as we knew it, and the changes that have been made regardless if they fit into the puzzle of my life. I have and will continue to cry for the loss, and death, the life that I and all of us so want to go out and live, but what I’ve vowed to do is to be a vessel of love and pain if it comes up, a compassionate kind virtual hug. I am here to listen, hold space, and energy for each and everyone of you as I continue to navigate my own needs, as they are no different than the needs of each and everyone of us. And that means that there most likely will be days that I am uncomfortable, and then just like that I can laugh at something silly I just read in a text, and cry the next moment, and it doesn’t mean that I am insensitive it means that it’s just another extension of awareness of this wild necessary uncomfortable experience we are living. I offer you to sit with whatever feelings come up, and feel them as if they are brand new just like the birth of a baby, see the joy within the uncomfortable re-birth our world is experiencing right now. It might not be as much joy as brand new birth, but when we get to bust outta this quarantine we will never take for granite anything that felt so simple and boring before these past 40 ish days.

Share with me in the comments what might you be experiencing in your re-birth, and how you’re navigating through this experience, and let’s hold space for each other as we experience this journey together.

I have known for awhile there is so much more that I want to create and put out in the world, and I’m getting close to what that content is. Stay tuned for this exciting announcement coming soon, not too long from now, as this 2020 vision is becoming clearer in more ways than I ever thought imaginable.

Until next week Loves,

♥️C

Thank you Mother Earth

“Belonging”
What comes to mind when you think of the word belonging?

The word, the thought, the feeling, and the connection of belonging can mean many different things, emotions, connections, etc..

When you think of belonging in the sense that we are apart of something we can feel connected, and that we’re where we’re meant to be right?

But really belonging to anything outside of ourselves is not belonging, it’s a connection that we’re experiencing. Belonging is essentially finding space to be comfortable within ourselves in every uncomfortable situation.

I feel that I can speak for us all that there are times we feel disconnected and that we just don’t fit in or belong. We can feel that we don’t fit in with certain groups, or any for that much, we can feel that there’s no group or situation that feels completely right for us to belong to, and the list goes on..

The constant within us is our connection to the earth, and how we cannot ever un-belong to the earth.

Interesting right? And if you really think about all the abuse the earth has had, and all the times we turned our backs to her, walked past littered streets, polluted streams, abandoned land etc… We were disconnecting to our biggest connection of belonging.

I recently read Brené Brown’s “Braving the Wilderness” which is about belonging and the journey of braving your own wilderness to belong to yourself, such an incredible read!! I bring up Brené’s book because she breaks down her own process of needing to belong so eloquently, and how she found her way to belong, and how we’re no different from each other in our own need to belong.

I found myself thinking it was very interesting that I started reading this book days before we went into quarantine..
Coincidence, nope!

When I was ten I remember looking into the mirror at my eyes, and realizing I was the only person looking into my eyes. I pinched my face, and realized I was the only person who could feel the pain of that pinch, and I was the only person who could feel the rug under my feet.. there was no one else experiencing what I was at that moment. It was just me belonging to me, or so I thought for that brief moment..

The interesting thing is we want so badly to belong because it’s natural to want to belong because we are inherently connected to one another through the natural course of birth. We cannot procreate without each other, and cannot survive as baby’s without our parents.

I think about that day when I was ten a lot, and how I felt so utterly comfortable knowing that I was exactly where I was supposed to be at that very special moment, and how it would take me so many more years to come back to that feeling of knowing that I belong to me, and that’s enough.

So many questions can come into mind on the subject of belonging, and how can we truly belong to just ourselves if we live on earth? How can we not feel that we belong to something bigger than ourselves if we’re always spinning along with the moments of the earth?!? There’s no separation from us to earth. We share the same DNA and are always in motion together, she is you and you are her.

Mother Earth is the bond that connects us all together, she’s the road we take to gather, she’s the oceans we swim to cleanse, she’s the mountains we climb to explore, and the sky upon which we learn to soar. She, you and I are one connection with many different avenues of experiences to bring us together to belonging.

Our world is at a standstill, yet very much alive, and it can feel as if time is standing still with the waiting, and waiting for this all to end, but nature continues to move us forward. The sun comes out, spring has sprung, nature is bursting with continuing life.

We belong to a very important part of history, a history that will be shared with future generations to come. This time is unique like no other, and it’s a very special and rare time to awaken us into our belonging not only to ourselves, but to our belonging to earth, and how we can slow down to the rhythm of earth.

She’s inviting us to rest, and to soften into her arms, lay in the sweetness of the soft ground, and feel the warmth of the sun shinning on our faces, and to just be exactly who we are exactly where we are in this moment in history.

Anything that’s uncomfortable is inviting us to step into our belonging of ourselves to look deeper into that connection and feel the uncomfortableness, and sit with it, listen to it all, what is being brought forth? How can we rebuild and step back into our lives stronger?

I don’t have all the answers, but what I do know is that we are being called to connect to our inner belonging and to see that vulnerability is just another connection to belonging.

Mother Earth you hold us in your arms, and you weep with us, yet also remind us that we are stronger than our fears, we are more courageous than any of the walls we can build, we can renew just like you each spring and we can rebuild even more gloriously than the year before, just like you Mother Earth we are another awakening of spring, a belonging to the great journey forward.

As scary as it can be to not know when this will all end, I do know it will end, and we will be so much stronger in the end when we find the comfort in the arms of our Mother Earth.

To those of you that are feeling alone and scared, please know that I love you, and that you are brave, and that we are all in this together belonging to the conscious collective and holding each other in our hearts.

Our purpose in life is to live in love, and to share our gifts. The one thing that I feel so deeply connected to in belonging to myself is through yoga, and teaching yoga. I have uploaded many free yoga classes for you to practice with, and to find that deeper inner belonging with yourself. Please practice and receive my love from me to you in this offering on my YouTube channel, “That Girls Yoga Cindy Shapiro”. Yoga is a great way to boost your immune system, and to feel truly connected to your journey of coming home to yourself and Mother Earth.

Thank you for inviting us to belong in your journey Mother Earth, and thank you each and everyone of you beautiful souls for belonging to this journey we all share together!!

Until next weeks loves,
♥️C

Sitting with it all

What day is today?!?? I often ask myself this question as the days sometimes seem to run together…

According to my phone today is Tuesday, and day 14 or 15 of quarantine (I think? Can’t remember;) and I am 20,780 days old, (I’ll save you from doing the math, 56 yrs 😉 You can look this up to calculate how many days you are on the internet 🙂

Ok back to what day this is… oh yeah Tuesday!

The days might seem like they run together, and time is slowing down beyond our level of comfort. I’ll admit I have had my own fair share of meltdowns and wanting my life back… but do I really?!? Wasn’t I just saying to my hubby a month ago, “If I could have 2 whole months off for vacation….. how lovely would that be?!”

When there is change that we don’t initiate on our own conscious level it can send our nervous system on a wild ride!! Our mind can run away like a run away freight train.. There’s lots of news to digest, lots of people suffering and compassion for them, and questions upon questions of how will this all play out for us?!?!……

Anytime when life shakes things up It can feel like we’re not living our own lives, and give us the feeling of living outside of our body because it’s become so uncomfortable creating this unshakable feeling of not knowing where to turn next.

The best thing we can do for ourselves is to not push away the uncomfortableness, but to allow it to be there without the attachment of fear. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying push the fear away because it’s not important, I’m offering to sit with the fear, see what it brings up.

Fear is very similar to anxiety in that it can stop us from living and put our bodies into a frozen state of fight or flight. Our nervous system overloads and our adrenals pump an over abundance of cortisol causing our minds to go into overdrive with fear and anxiety, and it becomes this constant battle of fear and anxiety that our bodies become trapped and the stress response moves into a constant state of contraction.

So how do we not get to attached to fear and all the overwhelming media posts and this constant fear of the unknown?!?….

And is there a way out of this uncomfortable place of feeling so disconnected from life? How do we acknowledge what’s happening in the world without getting so damn fearful, anxiety ridden, and feeling stuck with all of these uncomfortable emotions?!

It’s not easy I’m not going to lie, but I also feel so strongly that this is our time to step into our own awareness of how we’ve been living our lives in this same pattern day in and day out, and how this is a time to look into our hearts and to feel that this is our opportunity to be the change we wish to see in the world. See that this uncomfortable loss of life as we knew it is the great opportunity to open new doors and to welcome the thought of trusting in the process. See that we can acknowledge this fear and the unknown that’s coming up as an awakening to move beyond the cloaked wall of heavy burdened moments of uncertainty to rise into our greatest journey of compassion.

This is our time to remember that softness is the tenderness of the thought of another day. Our breath elevating us into the strength of our eternal life welcomes us to move beyond the old fears and troubles of yesterday. Tomorrow is a new elevation of awareness inviting us to breathe into it all, feel into every emotion, and see that we are no stranger to feeling uncomfortable, as it happens way more than we want it too!! Feeling uncomfortable is how we move forward, and how we evolve into knowing that we are not alone in this experience. We are all affected by this great tragedy regardless of how we’ve lived our lives, past, present or in the future, but what I know is that this is our calling to soften, let down the walls of mistrust within ourselves, and our brothers and sisters. We are all traveling together walking ourselves back home to the great life that’s being presented to us. We are all learning to trust to see the beauty of it all, hoping that the scars of fear will soon disappear, and it will all be clear that this is the great experience of love one breath at a time.

“Pran” in sanskrit means life, “Prana” means life force, and the life force of prana holds the key to the great divine awareness in each breath we breathe.

When you’re feeling a moment of fear and overwhelm try this breathwork to bring you back to your breath;

This can be done sitting, standing, laying down, or where ever you are. All you need is your breath.

Pause and close or softly focus your eyes, listen to the sweet sound of your inhale, feel it rise to bring life into your heart… Slowly blow your exhale out through your lips and feel the downward release of energy leave your body…

Continue this breathwork for 10 counts of breath, releasing with longer exhalations than your inhalation’s to stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system.

Release the breathwork after 10 breaths or longer if you wish, and notice the calming affect this breath created in your body and mind. If you still feel anxious try the breathwork again where you are in this moment, or find a space where you can get grounded and rest to the earth with your knees bent, eyes closed and 1 hand to the heart, and 1 to your belly.

Stay here at long as you need to relax into the breathwork. Your body is designed to keep you safe in these moments, and it knows how to do it, the practice is to invite the mind to follow the breath, and the body will follow.

Be well my friends!
Until next week loves,
♥️C

Trust, Gratitude, Acceptance

I am awake and it’s 4AM… I grab a pen and open a fresh page in my journal, it’s dark, but the sky is perfectly illuminated by the moon, just the right amount of light to journal as my awakened thoughts spill out of my mind…

We are being called to find new awareness in our current life, to step into our awareness to retreat to learn the magnitude of our inner compass. But what is it we must know? Trust, acceptance & gratitude pop into my mind as I ponder these inevitable questions…

To trust that the experience of life draws us to the exterior space outside our inner temple, our arms an extension of the heart reach to encircle the either of awareness that the walls are here to remind us that these outer containers do not contain us from the inner space of expansion, they are here to invite us to ignite our attention back inward to the forever eternal practice of home.

The outer world is our extension of what dwells inside each of us through our prana, our life force. Prana is energy awareness of all that is tangible in each moment that pulls us into our deepest consciousness that these moments are just another form of pranic energy that cannot be penetrated or confined from the decor of our outer existence.

The only way is in. The inward journey is in this space of now where we have the choice to be confined by what the eye dwells upon, or where the mind try’s to scurry off to.

The opportunity is now, right here out the in the open space of it all, the totality of our existence, not the outer walls of decor, but within the unconfined universe that is you.

A plethora of thoughts swirling so ever present, my mind she looks outward yearning to be away from the ever present thoughts pulling and pulling to break free of the thoughts that have awaken me…
these thoughts they beckon me to awaken to see that my mind she is wise, my body she is strong, my heart she is wisest as she sends my body to find the place where the outer walls of my mind are set free, my breath she was calling to me to awaken and breathe.

I breathe in..I breathe out… Ah yes yoga my body says, lead me into the space of practice, breathing, breathing, breathing…

I am awaken from the thoughts from days past to find myself held within a beautiful space of gratitude, love & awareness that my breath she is my inner temple, there are no walls filled with decor, the outer decor is just an illusion.

Softly my eyes close, and it’s all there, trust, acceptance & gratitude, drifting, drifting, drifting into the solitude of life.

The Beauty and importance of our Breath

What happens when there’s an outbreak of scared people, and we run out of supplies because we’re so scared we don’t know what else to do but buy extreme amount of toilet paper and hand sanitizer?!?!??…..

I thought all week long over and over about writing this post, but I am in such a quandary over all of this panic that I feel the need to share some insight into panic and how this can cause dis-ease in our body.

First of all our nervous system needs rest. It’s imperative that we rest and find time to be quiet and at ease.

When we are constantly in “Fight or Flight” response we weaken our immune system, and we can become in a frozen state of panic from all of the overload of stress on our nervous system. We might fear that if we don’t continue to listen to all of the constant influx of news and information we will miss out on not being g properly informed…

Sadly that over influx of news and information is going to increase our chances of becoming sick. The panic that can arise can become so real that our thoughts and the increased adrenaline can bring dis-ease to our body.

I don’t wish to carry on touting that we need to be calm and relax, but really that’s what’s going to keep our immune system strong and keep us from dis-ease.

So how do we stay calm and dis-ease free in times like we’re experiencing today?

One of the things I’ve learned in my yoga practice is that as humans we love to be in control of EVERYTHING, and I even thought about not writing this post because of maybe thinking I could control the release of fear, but this post is not about controlling your fear, or the fear of our world, but about helping to bring light and educate on what has worked for me when I have felt out of control.

The one thing we have constant control over is our breath. When we have compromised our immune system it makes it harder for us to control our breath.

The breath is our means to find calmness in every aspect of life, and when we tell ourselves we cannot have something our breath can grow faster, and the mind starts to race, panic sets in and before we know it, we cannot even feel ourselves breathing anymore, then all hell sets in.. our immune system is weakened.

Telling ourselves we must stop a thought, or that we cannot have something only makes our brain want it more. Cultivating a mindset that we have all that we will ever need in each moment will help to stay in the present moment.

One of the best ways to connect to your breath is to become aware of it at all times. When we get scared our breath quickens and that increases anxiety, fear and panic not only in our breath, but in our body and mind.

So how do we stop the panic and fear you might ask? By feeling your breath slowly one breath at a time. We inhale and the belly softly expands to fill the lungs with air, as we exhale the belly softens to release what is no longer needed to release tension from the body.

Our breath is a built in therapist for our mind and body. The breath is the star of the show, and how we can, and will stay healthy in these scary times we’re experiencing right now.

One of my favorite ways to connect to my breath is to lay down on a comfortable surface with support under your head and neck, knees bent, feet supported by the earth, shoulders rest away from the ears, collar bones soften across the chest, sacrum (back of pelvis) to broaden, belly and pelvis soften, arms resting by your sides with your palms to face the sky, backs of knuckles rest into the floor, fingers relax into their natural curl.

Close your eyes and feel your breath in your body. Notice the rhythm of how the breath enters your body, feel the rise and fall of your breath in the belly, ribs and chest.

Tune in and sense how your breath automatically knows how to keep you safe. Tune into the feeling of energy your breath pulls into your body. The exact amount of energy your body needs just to breath, and not anymore than is necessary.

Invite your mind you stay with the breath following each rise, and each fall of the breath. Can you sense that your breath is much slower now that you have brought it into focus?

Or maybe there are still so many thoughts circling in your mind that the breath is distant? If so please don’t worry it’s natural for this to happen especially when there’s a lot going on in the world. Invite your thoughts to be there and observe them for a few moments, thank them for their presence, and feel them dissolve away naturally with your exhale. Bring your mind back to your next inhale, and feel into this new breath, if thoughts come up again,acknowledge them and feel them release as you exhale… This is the pattern of easing the mind through the connection of the breath.

Give yourself the gift of resting here for a few minutes, and know that it’s ok to take this breath break.

When you’re feeling rested and connected to your breath roll to your right hand side, rest there for a moment and just notice the effects this breath break has on your mind. When you’re ready, press yourself up and stay aware of your breath as much as you can, and notice if this is helpful to ease your mind.

Now I know we can’t always lay down to find our breath, but the GOOD news is our breath is ALWAYS with us, and you can even stand to find your breath, or sit. Place your Left hand over your heart, and Right hand over your belly while standing or sitting, and breathe into your hands as you feel you’re shoulders rest always from your ears, soften the muscles of your face, and continue just as you would if you were laying down.

We can find the breath in any stressful situation regardless if we’re standing, seated, driving, etc…

Our breath is the first thing we do when we come into physical form and the last thing we do when we leave our physical form. It’s been there for you from the start, and will be there for you for life.

Life cannot always be rainbows and sunshine, we need darkness, and challenges so that we can grow and evolve, but when we resist change and scary times we resist our body’s own very strong dis-ease fighting power by not using our breath.

I posted in last weeks blog about the power of yoga, and how yoga can be such a beautiful way to live life, but did you also know that yoga will boost your immune system?

Yep that’s right, practicing yoga and pranayama (breathwork) will increase your immune system and help to put you at ease in difficult times, and help in preventing dis-ease in your body.

Wishing you all much health and happiness always, and hoping this post is helpful in informing you of the importance of your breath to boost your immune system.

May all beings be healthy, happy and free from suffering through the beautiful luxurious connection to the breath.

Until next week loves!
♥️ C

This life we call Yoga

Yoga found me when I was pregnant with my Daughter thirty years ago. I had mid and low back pain from my pregnancy, and was advised from my OB to do yoga to relieve the pain. I got a yoga DVD for pregnancy, and luckily found one with a pregnant teacher as well as the students in the video. My pain got better and better each time I practiced yoga with my new found yoga teacher and friends:) LOL

Sadly back then I felt too clunky as you typically do when pregnant to actually go to a yoga studio.. However I was very comfortable practicing in the comfort of my home, and really enjoyed this time on my mat. Basically I was self taught in yoga or so I thought…

I practiced yoga on and off for about 18 years before I got serious and began my life time study of yoga. It all began as a physical practice for me, like it does for most students, but what came next was beyond any realm of comprehension I ever thought I would have had in a million life times! Yoga is NOT something that we do, Yoga is how we live our lives, and there is way more to yoga than just the physical poses. Yoga is an entire way of living, and actually only 10% is the physical practice of āsana, the physical poses, the other 90% is how we put our practice into how we love our lives.

So why do we practice the poses you might ask? Why do you say that Yoga is a way of living life? And really there is so much more to yoga than I will have space to write about, but I’ll outline as much as I can about “This life we call Yoga” to bring more light onto this ever growing phenomenon of yoga.

Yoga was first created as meditation without any poses. And if you’ve ever tried Meditation, you might know exactly why I say meditation can be challenging without opening up the physical body before sitting for long periods at a time. Also there are plenty of photos of the stoic wise yogis sitting upright in full lotus pose looking very zen, comfortable and relaxed as if meditation comes naturally for them, and you might have thought to yourself, “Yeah right that’s not for me, there’s no way I could sit for hours at a time in an upright position like that!”

Haha all joking aside, It’s true it’s hard to sit in full lotus like the photos we’ve all seen of these wise yogis. That’s where āsana (poses) comes into play in this life of yoga. These poses were designed to help the body to release tension that gets trapped in the body from living life. āsana also helps to clear the mind as we open the body while connecting the breath to the movement in our practice.

There are many different types of yoga teachings, with the most popular type here in the west being Hatha yoga the lineage of vinyasa, ashtanga, iyengar, kundalini, hot yoga, and restorative yoga.

With the popularity of yoga in the west there are lots of teachers completing their 200 hour yoga teaching certificate not only to learn how to teach yoga, but to dive deeper into their understanding of yoga. To teach yoga you must complete your 200 hour yoga teacher training, as it is very important to understand the body, and the science of yoga before you teach.

It’s interesting how the process works for yoga students that wish to take their practice deeper to become a yoga teacher. I’ll share more on this in another post. When setting out to practice yoga you’ll want to practice with many different teachers to find the teacher that has the right style of teaching for you. Sometimes it can take several classes with a few teachers before you find the teacher, or teachers that feel comfortable for you to practice with.

Interesting enough there are many different types of studios and gyms that offer yoga that don’t all have the same philosophy, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it really is a personal choice to find the right fit. I find that I really enjoy going to many different studios to learn all of the different styles of teachers, and philosophies to broaden my knowledge both on the philosophical level as the physical level.

Now let’s get back to the juicy part of this post; Why is yoga not just a physical practice, and why is it a way of living life, and how do you really learn all there is to learn about yoga? First of all there’s no way to learn everything there is to learn about yoga, because you’re still alive, and that means that your yoga practice is still in the learning stages. I have a student that likes to joke with me before and after classes, “When will it be a perfect, and no longer a practice?’ I always laugh when he says this, and remind him that it’s a practice of going inward, and that we are already perfectly imperfect.

Yoga is a scientific practice that is a connection to yourself. It’s a conscious awareness of the continuous balance of life, and in my opinion the GREATEST gift we can bring into our lives!!!!!!!! Yoga doesn’t care if you’re flexible, skinny, thick, what race you are, religion, gender, sexual status, married, single, or any label we put on ourselves, yoga gives us the tools to live life in acceptance of where we are in each moment.

The great journey of yoga is the journey for the self, with the self, to the self, and there are many great books that can teach you all about this great journey along with choosing a great teacher/mentor. Yoga is going inward into the knowing that we are not separate in this world, there is no disconnect even though we live in separate body’s. We are apart of all that is apart of the infinite world we live in. The mountains, oceans, meadows, flowers, birds, insects, clouds, and the sky above us is all apart of us physically, and metaphysically, everything is connection of each living part of life, you are everything and everything is you.

“Yo” in sanskrit means to yolk, and “ga” means bring together a union of breath to body. Yoga does not create the union, but shows us that the union has been there all along. The practice of yoga ignites the deeper connections of our true self “Atman”

One of the great writings of yoga, and the outline of the eight limbs of yoga is from “The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.” This is a very complex book, and can be hard for beginners, however challenging this book may be there are many more versions that are easier to comprehend for us westerners. I’ll add a list at the end of this post for you to look into as you dive into your yoga journey. According to Patanjali “avidyā” is the reason we practice yoga, and comes from the root word “vid”, to know, and to see, and essentially means connecting to the knowing of the self, the most deepest knowing of awareness that we are here for the journey of unconditional love in all aspects of life. Including the dark moments, as well as the light moments.

When we are first born into these physical body’s we know only how to rely on our inner senses, and to get our needs met from our mothers, and fathers. We learn how to live in the society we were born into, and follow in our families life plan. If we have not been introduced to yoga, and meditation it can seem odd, or something that only those types of people do…

For most yogis the journey to yoga comes when the last big challenge has them asking “Ok now what? How am I going to find a way to navigate through life, and live the journey of true joy?” or for most of us, we say “WHAT THE FUCK, this has to stop, and where’s the exit off this crazy ride?!” The later was my realization because of the many years I suffered with anxiety and agoraphobia.

My deepest connection to yoga beyond the poses found me when I was at my whits end of not living my life to my fullest potential. I felt so lost and uncomfortable in my body that I knew I had to give yoga a try. My mom had encouraged me to go to a yoga studio to get the fullest guidance and benefits from trained teachers, and to step outside of my comfort zone of practicing in my home, but if you suffer from anxiety you know this is not as easy as it sounds. My mom came with me to one of my first yoga experiences in a studio knowing that I was nervous and only had my own self taught training, and what I learned from practicing at my local gym. WOW WOW WOW I was hooked beyond my wildest realm of comprehension that you could feel this good!!!!! I turned to my mom and said “I want to teach yoga, and help people to feel as good as I do right now!”

I have always wanted to be a teacher, and wasn’t quite sure on what level I wanted to teach. When I was little, I wanted to teach 2nd grade, then I got into the various jobs I’ve held in my life, but I was always asked by my employers to be the lead trainer. I have been teaching my whole life, but I knew that teaching yoga was going to be a very different type of teaching than any teaching I had ever done, including being a mom.

Ok back to what is Yoga; āsana means seat in sanskrit, and as mentioned in “The Yoga Sutras of Pantajali” is translated to comfortable seat which is what yoga was first designed for, a comfortable seat to meditate. After the birth of yoga and 900 years later the āsana poses we know today were created to help the body to sit comfortably in meditation. The yogis learned that as we continued to evolve as humans our lives got more and more busy, and we held onto experiences in our body that can create pain, and an uncomfortableness as we did not move our body’s as much as we did 900 years prior to when yoga was first created. Fast forward to today in our modern time we have many convinces like cars, remote controls, fast food drive throughs, door dash, uber eats, and many luxury conveniences that contribute to our sedentary lifestyle. Not to mention all of the sitting we do as a society (speaking of that I’m going to take a break from my computer and move my body, so I can clear my body and mind to continue this post) , now don’t get me wrong sitting is not entirely bad for us, but too much can cause a whole host of problems to our body, and our endocrine system. Good news is there’s yoga to help, which is why āsana’s were designed.

I could get carried away writing this post and what exactly is yoga, but Basically what I want to share with you is that yoga is a life style that offers us the greatest inner connection to ourselves. It is especially important in todays lifestyle to find this connection to ourselves. The breath is the best guide to find awareness and to create space in a body and mind that can feel so overwhelmed with all of the information we are capable of holding onto. Then there’s experiences that we have had that can become uncomfortable for our body’s to hold onto anymore, and yoga can help to bring our attention to these pains, or dis-eases we experience or are experiencing now. It has been proven that practicing yoga at least 2 to 3 times a week can reverse with early detection some diseases, dis-ease, mild cognitive impairment, and bring our physical body bak into homostacias.

The āsana’s in our yoga practice teach us how to soften/release into the pose to open the body. Though your practice your teacher will have a sequence set up designed to open your body through the connection of your breath. You will generally begin with a centering awareness of connecting to your breath to set the pace of your practice. This connection to your breath will be your guide as you move through your practice. Most teachers will bring your awareness back to the breath several times throughout your practice. There are many different types of pranayama (Breath) practices that can be learned, but typically Ujjai breath(also known as victorious breath) is the breath we use most in class, as it helps to slow the breath by breathing in and out through the nose. However your yoga is your practice, and learning the breath that helps you to feel most comfortable is most important. Your teacher might guide you through other types of pranayama thought your practice to help open and release different muscle groups, and to stimulate the breathing muscles as your practice progresses. The main thing to remember in your practice is to follow the breath in a way that feels most comfortable to you. These āsana’s we practice teach our body how to be calm using our breath to find release of what we might be holding onto. These poses also teach us that while we might want to come out of the pose, we can stay an explore the awareness of how to soften into the shape, and how release happens in these postures through this connection to our breath, body and mind. The added benefit of āsana is that the release gets stored in the breath, body, mind awareness, and each time you come back to these poses you can find even more release and even more detachment from any pain or uncomfortable experiences held in the body. The practice is a systematic awareness of meeting ourselves where we are in each moment, and our body will remember the feeling of sweet release from your practice whenever you feel stress or uncomfortable. Yoga is the awareness that we already have within us all that we will ever need, “Avidyā.”

Not all yoga classes will offer meditation especially if you’re in a beginner class, however you will be offered savanna in every class, which is the BEST āsana, and MOST IMPORTANT āsana of all. Savasana is where the practice is integrated into the body, mind and soul. It’s the place where “Avidyā” first comes to us. And for some students savanna can be very uncomfortable as their mind will still be filled with thoughts, and maybe their body might feel uncomfortable to lay flat onto their yoga mat, but savanna does not have to be performed a certain way. Savasana can be seated on your mat, you can use props like blankets, bolsters, block, or what makes you feel comfortable to rest and integrate at the end of your yoga āsana practice. Savasana automatically integrates meditation as the body slows down to rest, the mind is at rest and ease as the breath continues to guide the practice.

So how come we’ve stepped away from the traditional meditation in our western group classes, and why is āsana such an important part of todays practice? Mainly because our body needs movement, and when were busy living our modern lifestyles meditation doesn’t sound relaxing as moving the body does, because our body intuitively knows it needs to move to release.

The good news is there are so many different type of meditation and calming apps available on our phones, that we can go to sleep to from listening to calming music, calming affirmations, or even mediations. Mediation does not have to be for hours at a time, and really if you can sit in silence for the first 5 minutes after you first wake up, it’s a really nice way to start your day and practice into meditation. Five minutes twice a day is a great step into meditation, and goes by way faster than we think it will. You’ll actually be shocked it went by so fast. I like to meditate first thing in the morning, and mid day when I feel that mid day slump, or just before bed if I had a busy day that there was no time to have my mid day practice. You can even meditate while standing in line at the grocery store, or the coffee shop. Meditation is really just being aware of your breath, and opening space in your mind to be centered and connected to yourself, the “Atma.”

Meditation is such a special gift of giving us more time and space. Now I know you might be thinking “How is mediation giving me time?” Before I answer this question I want to share a funny joke about meditation that I know we can all benefit from, “If you think you don’t have 5 minutes to meditate, then you need to meditate for and hour!” At first I thought to myself well that doesn’t make sense… But it does, because when we don’t meditate we lose time and our minds becomes so overfilled with all of the things we cram into it, that the beak for meditation will actually clear up space to help us to be more efficient.

Tomorrow morning try it, and see how it would feel if you set a timer on your phone, or used the calm app or insight timer for 5 minuets to sit with your breath just how calming meditation is, and how much more focused it helps you to be and feel. Using a meditation app or listening to a meditation on you tube will be most helpful in the beginning because for most of us our mind is racing at the thought of sitting still in silence. Please remember it’s a practice, and it will get easier I promise you!

How do you start yoga, and how to do know which is the right class or type of yoga for you? I would look for a local studio that offers many different types of classes, and most importantly a beginner class, or a series of workshops that you can learn about the basics of yoga. There are many studios that will offer you your first class for free, or offer a new student special so that you can try out the studio and the teachers. Yoga studios want you to practice yoga, it’s not a huge money making business, and there is so much that goes into owning and running a yoga studio. Most yoga studio owners started out teaching yoga, and some continue to teach yoga as they operate their studio, but they fell in love with the process of yoga, and they too wanted to teach others to feel as good as they do when they’ve taken a yoga class.

The journey of yoga has opened many wonderful doors for me both as a student, and as a teacher. Many more doors and awarenesses than I ever thought possible. The philosophy of yoga go beyond the basic teachings, and as I stated earlier there are many great books you can read to set into your journey of yoga. They’re are also a lot of teacher trainings you can attend to deepen your knowledge, and your practice, and plenty of workshops that guide you deeper into your practice.

Yoga is not a place to become better, and not where we achieve a better body, or a smarter brain, yoga is a lifestyle of learning to love ourselves, and coming back to who we’ve always been. The bonus of practicing āsana is the your body will become more toned, you’ll become more balanced both on and off your mat, and you will find a deeper focus of inner awareness that will bring the automatic feeling of joy into your heart, our natural state of being.

Looking forward to practicing with you both on and off the mat, and to sharing lots more about this beautiful journey of yoga!

Until next week loves,

Namaste

♥️Cindy

Suggested books:

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali

The Secret power of yoga

The Unththethered Soul

The Heart of Yoga

Light on yoga

And many many more found on amazon

Hello 2020 I’m Listening

As I write my first official blog post my heart feels like it’s bursting right out of my chest with the BEST anxiety I’ve EVER felt!!!!!

It literally feels like my heart will explode because I’ve decided to FINALLY take this step out of my comfort zone, out of my OLD limiting beliefs that I am not good enough to blog, or to share my thoughts on love, life and yoga!!!!!!!!!!!

I am VERY VERY EXCITED to have you join in this journey with me as I share about what I’ve learned, and am still learning in life.

Please comment and share with me so that we can learn and grow together. I practice living positive in all that I do, and encourage you to share your thoughts and comments with a positive approach as well. 

I’ve wanted to write this blog for many years, and have held off for many many reasons, too many to list. but mostly because I was listening to old patterns of old stories of fear and doubt. I feel that I am and that many of us are recovering fear addicts, learning to release the fear of what others will think of us, or more importantly how we think ourselves…

This past Monday as I started to write my weekly Monday morningpost of inspiration, and my teaching schedule (basically already a blog;) the thought came through me like a galactic tidal wave of the most intense awareness that IT’S TIME, it’s time to write the blog I’ve wanted to write!! It’s time to release the limiting beliefs, and the stories I’ve been attached to for so many years, it’s time to live life and not just dream it, but to live it, and to share from the deepest parts of my soul the love of writing that has become such a BIG part of teaching yoga, and living life.

This last Saturday I had the great privilege to teach an Intention setting Cacao Ceremony with my first yoga sister “Aris Seaberg” @adventureswitharis. I call her my first yoga sister because we met in our 200 hour yoga training, which was both our first training. I will share more on this special meeting in a future post.

The workshop was beyond magical, and such a beautiful array of energy settled in the room as the students connected to their intentions they set, we meditated, connected, shared the ancient beautiful ritual of drinking cacao to expand our hearts into the offering of our intentions of 2020.

“This is my lifeI thought!” WOW yes this is my life, I get to experience and be apart of such beauty, joy, and awareness each time I teach, and to hold space for others to feel into their body’s and in their hearts.

My heart was truly exploding with so much gratitude for the gift of teaching yoga, and holding space!!

Then many hours after back at home I saw a picture of myself as I was teaching during the Cacao Ceremony, and the flood gate of emotions OPENED WIDE WIDE OPEN……… my Ego was out of control, and I burst into tears, all the fears and limiting beliefs of “Holy Shit, is this what I look like when I teach?!?!?!? Is this how I am perceived as a teacher by the students, and my piers, and myself?!?!?!?…”

Is this how my husband views me when he takes pictures of me?

Yep I fell down the rabbit hole of limiting beliefs, and I fell HARD!

The other pictures were so BEAUTIFUL of the students, and Aris! I LOVED seeing their expressions of deep thought, love and awareness, but the pictures of me I did not like what I saw..

I was doing one of the things that I love most, and comes so naturally to me, WHY did I look that way?!?!?!….

I was trapped and deeply stuck in my pain body that I was stubborn, and deeply connected into the muddy waters of my ego. She was not letting go… no hug, no ability to listen to the love from my husband, yoga sister, not even my dogs were allowed near the mountain of emotions I was standing firmly upon! Nope they can’t tell me I’m great, and that the pictures are beautiful, nope, no way, no,no,no I wasn’t having any of it!!!

Tear after tear burning and running down my face, soaking my shirt deep with the emotions of my past, running and running away from all my daily practice… absolutely nothing left of this version of me that I love and genuinely like, just the OLD Cindy, the old version that ran with the negative talk, negative icky vibes that I was not good enough to teach because I did not look as beautiful as I felt in the pictures..

Wait… Hold on… I felt beautiful.. I felt Beautiful!! That’s the practice, it’s NOT how I looked, it’s in how I felt connected, and have you ever noticed when a musician plays, or a singer sings the incredibly funny faces they make, and the strange movements in their body? That is the deep inner focus of the movement of energy, the meditative natural expressions of creativity. Yoga teaches us that we are not becoming better, but that we are coming back to ourselves, and back to the divine awareness of who we are at our core, the deepest layer of our soul. 

So why did I go there down that OLD familiar road? Why after such a beautiful experience of holding space and seeing, and feeling the awareness of the students did I go there?

First of all because I am no different than anybody else, and I have been working so hard learning that each experience is happening for us, and not against us that I forgot to give myself space to be gentle with myself, and to see that the many hard lessons I’ve learned last year were there to teach me “acceptance,” and as I too quickly forgot that I had just wrote these very words while these pictures were being taken of me. I forgot that I just wrote “acceptance” as my word of gratitude for 2019, I forgot all to quickly what I had learned, and my ego pushed her way in, showing me the OLD patterns of not accepting myself. Acceptance is is never an easy awareness, but essential for our daily practice of what we learn, but also in learning to be gentle with ourselves through grace of self love in all aspects of who we are, even if we’re not happy with what we see on the outside. 

I’ve been on this path longer that I’ve been teaching yoga, and I’ve cried many tears, and released many fears, looked deeper that I ever thought possible into the deepest layer of my soul, and have, and will continue to release layer after layer of the old patterns through acceptance in each breath, and continue to accept myself where I am in each moment. It’s not how we look, it’s how we feel, how we share through our Bhakti/devotion as a teacher that we step into this very important and sacred role. 

I am very blessed to have the love of my family, and ALL of my yoga sisters, and brothers, and am grateful beyond measure through all of many words as there are to describe gratitude for these beautiful souls in my life, but there is one true love that is the most important of all, the love of ourselves towards ourselves. 

We can be loved by many, but I have learned and am continuing to learn that loving ourselves in all our messy complicated weird quirky ways is truly the best way back to ourselves. 

We are born into this physical form as Angelic beings living a soul purpose of love. We have been given as we step into these physical shells all the tools we will ever need, we are wise beyond our knowledge, and stronger that we can ever imagine within our conscious minds, but deeply embedded in our soul is the all ever knowing of the beauty and grace that is in each and every one of us.

My intention for 2020 is to “Listen.” Listen to the sound of your heart, listen to the sound of your breath, listen to the sound of your feet as you move them along the earth, listen to all that is you, listen to the wise awareness of our ancestors past, listen to the wisdom that is deeply rooted within each and every beat of your heart, listen to it all, listen to this moment the moment of right now, the only moment that matters, listen, listen listen, the answers are there within you,

Look into your eyes, and don’t just see the color of them, the shape of them, or anything other than the beauty and grace of the soul that resides within them, you beautifully unapologetically you, listen you are exactly where you are meant to be, listen it’s all there for you within you.

Until next week loves, live beautifully within the feelings of this journey we call life.

Love always Cindy

The Art of Boundaries & Loving ourselves

Sure you can say “oh that doesn’t bother me,”and “nothing others do or say bothers me!”

But are we really being authentic with our words and our thoughts?

Are we truly speaking our truth if we just brush off something that is upsetting us? Or when something is said that really doesn’t need to be said is spoken to us, we can act like it’s all good, but then when we’re alone we cry or get angry, then upset with ourselves for being sensitive?

Then we tend to carry that anger with us for a day, or for several years.

Have you ever really thought about how that not only affects our mind & heart, but how it affects our immune system & our self worth?

And how these experiences can turn into unresolved trauma in our body?

Our body’s have the memory of every trauma we’ve experienced, even some traumas the brain is not completely aware of, or has conveniently forgotten about..

We are being called to step into our life & listen, be present, & to practice sitting with what is.

Everytime we squirm & resist those uncomfortable moments it removes us from living in our authentic truth.

We have been given this incredible opportunity to live in these beautiful bodies of ours & to bring love & joy into the world for ourselves & others.

Each time we are entrusted with the opportunity of being uncomfortable it is another gift that invites us to grow beyond what we are used to. Yep it’s going to be scary, annoying, messy, complicated, exhausting, & many more of those I can’t do this any more moments!!!

BUT I promise you that it will take time for the shifts to occur, there will be many choices that you are faced with that will conjure up all those feels & most likely lots more, but you will see the beauty in the struggle as you settle into the new shift. It might not happen within the first 10 million shifts, but it takes time for these great gifts of uncertainty to evolve into our greatest stepping up point.

They always say the first step is the hardest, & after that first hard step they’ll be another & most likely several more.. before you know it you’ll be on that journey trusting that the light will be there at the end welcoming you into your new evolution & it will all make total sense every last uncomfortable conversation will no longer trigger you, every last
unnecessary comment will no longer affect you because you’ll see that those words are spoken because it’s not your trigger it’s the trigger of others for what they wish to release from their life, or are feeling uncomfortable with.

We don’t need to please anybody but ourselves!! Loving & living in our truth of authenticity is the deepest form of trust that we are on the right path, when we show up wholeheartedly for ourselves we show others how to show up for themselves too. Please remember it’s not about you, it’s their journey to travel through, you can walk away from anything that no longer feels like it’s authentic to how you chose to live your life!!

There’s so much more that goes into this practice that I just don’t have enough space to write about, but the main thing I wanted to share is to allow yourself to be unapologetically you no matter what others think!!!

And there’s never a need to explain ourselves ever!!! This is a biggie for me personally. We can simply state our reply and if there’s confrontation it’s your choice to engage or not. Walking away closing these doors is another opportunity to live in the authenticity of your life & once you close these doors so many new opportunities will come your way.

Life is a practice & there’s no perfect in any aspect of life, because we are already perfectly imperfect exactly the way we are!!

If any of this resonated with you please share in the comments and let’s share love & pure authenticity throughout the world.

Remember your wings might feel like they are too big at times but you were made just the right size for them!!

Happy FriYaY Loves, sending you all lots of love!

♥️C

The MOST Important Thank You Letter

The most important Thank you letter

In this challenging time that we’re experiencing right now it’s become more and more apparent to stand in our truth and to find what brings our heart true joy, but to not push away the truth of our feelings just to step back into our true joy, but to invite all of the feelings, good or bad to be acknowledged.

As I stood in my kitchen 2 1/2 hours into washing and disinfecting the groceries for the next two weeks, I felt tired, frustrated, and more than ready for this all to end…

I thought to myself “wait I “get” to wash and disinfect our groceries, this is a privilege, I am healthy, and have groceries for the next two weeks!”

“How could I be feeling upset for myself, there are healthcare workers, first responders, and all of the staff that it takes to help the sick and dying non stop, I bet they feel more tired than I have ever known in my entire life! I bet they feel more frustrated trying to understand how to help those that are in their desperate need of help… let alone have a moment to think about their own lives..”

I stopped.. and I cried for all the pain.. for all the fear that so many people are facing, I stopped and invited these feelings because I really just love life, and love living life, the life I miss, the life we all miss, and what are we really missing I thought, was that life really our authentic purpose here on earth? Why don’t we allow ourselves to stop and feel? Why don’t we listen to our needs? So many questions popped into my head that I had to stop so that I could feel, not just push it all away, and busy myself so I didn’t have to acknowledge this reality. I NEEDED to acknowledge the pain for what it is.. a closed chapter, an unfamiliar territory, a new norm as some would say…

I walked away from the sink, and sank down into a chair and allowed the frustration to be EXACTLY what it is, frustration… frustration that darkness is necessary, frustration that darkness only brings light, and darkness however dark it shows up is always luminous transformation, frustration that I know this is our journey to step into the light of illumination, frustration at the sheer agony of it all!!

I allowed myself to stay with this frustration and all of the emotions that were clinging to my soul like the thick dark walls of a cavernous cave with no end in sight, I felt it all for each and every soul affected..

The moment I invited the feelings to be there and to sit with them I started to feel a sense of calmness, a sense of ease release through my heart, and knew so clearly that I had faced the frustration, and most likely there’d be more to come in the coming weeks, but as I felt my body begin to soften it became easier to take a deep breath, my mind clearing and the thoughts ready to be published, it was time to finish the letter I had started writing 3 weeks ago.

This pandemic is our reality, it’s not just something that happens in other countries, it’s happening as we know all too well worldwide! I needed to send this letter of confirmation of my gratitude for each and everyone of you, so that you know that I see you, and I know just how hard it can be some days, and just hard it is to put one foot in front of the other, and to carry on in this new reality.

Thank you to all of the essential helpers that are working so tirelessly to help save lives!!!!!

I don’t think there will ever be enough words to describe just how grateful I know we all are for their dedication to saving lives!!!!

Thank you to each and every person for your love, and for cheering on the helpers.

Thank you to the moms and dads showing up for themselves so that their children see that we carry on, and for all the unconditional love you give to your children. Thank you Sons & Daughters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, friends, neighbors, co-workers, lovers, acquaintances, and most importantly to ourselves for riding the storm no matter how scary or unsteady the winds blow, thank you one and all for your love that carries us protected within the wings of divine love. Thank you from every expansion of energy that makes up my soul, Thank You!! Thank you!! Thank you!!!

This really is the most important thank you letter I feel that I have ever written in my life!!! Why because I think of how hard and tirelessly all of our healthcare angels have been working, how dedicated to their profession they are, how I have no idea really just how incredibly tired they must feel, and how the frustrations must set in, but how they just keep going and loving, and saving, and saving, and loving etc……

Long run on sentence?!?… I bet that’s how it must feel to go home and be so utterly exhausted that all you can do is fall into bed to find some sort of rest and normalcy in this crazy nightmare!

Doctors, and nurses, lab technicians, anisteiologists , operations personnel, janitors, volunteers, and all the countless jobs needed to run a hospital, I can’t even imagine what it’s like to work as hard and tiredly as they are working to keep our world alive!!!! And the amount of pain and suffering they have to endure knowing they’ve tried their hardest, and that not everyone will make it…

I think about how much “We” all want life to go back to normal, but what is normal anymore?!??

Normal clearly was not working… Normal was an unconscious race to acquire all the things, and busy ourselves doing, and going, and constantly moving from one point to another…

And really was that even normal? And my biggest question is “Why would we want to be normal?” When we can be so much more than normal? It’s going to take tireless practice on our part, and quite possibly very much like the tireless work our healthcare professionals put in day in and day out. They don’t have the luxury to reinvent the way life was, they don’t have time to ponder where do I go from here, how can I make these changes I really don’t want to make, or even feel so F’ing frustrated that we “Have” to do any of this at all?!?!!

No “They” chose from their heart to follow their passion knowing there would always be challenging times, some harder than others, but it’s so deeply imbedded in their soul to be on the front lines holding the pain of others so that they can rest and heal. There’s no time to ponder for them at all, it’s their calling. I have found myself lately asking how can I help, and where does my deeply compassionate heart come into play during this pandemic?

How can any of us help? How can we make the necessary uncomfortable change of changes that need to be made so that our world can heal?!?

I am VERY VERY fortunate that I am still able to teach yoga through all the incredible formats available to offer yoga these days, and that my yoga studios are making this available to help people stay healthy!! But the point here is not how lucky or blessed I am, it’s in seeing that “We” all have the ability to make a difference during this pandemic, and beyond.

This is our opportunity to look at the changes we can make in our lives. Starting with the lack of paper goods that we’ve become so accustomed to the luxury of having. I know I personally LOVE paper towels, and have abused the use of them ever since I moved out of my parents home over 30 years ago… That’s a lot of waste, because if you know me, when I say I LOVE paper towels you know just how wasteful that was!!!!!

But really in all seriousness I have made a paper towel roll last 2 weeks so far, and there’s still two thirds of the roll left!!!!! I used to go through a roll every 2 days, and that’s if I was being sparingly:/ there are ways to “Stop” the unnecessarily wasteful normal way of living life!!

I bought reusable cloths that are so incredibly absorbent that their absorbent abilities throw paper towels to the curb!!! We can disinfect them by placing them out in the sun to dry after they’ve been washed out after each use, and if you prefer you can disinfect them in the microwave for 30 seconds. Who knew that option was available?!? Well apparently I didn’t because I was happily living my normal wasteful life.

I’ve always tried to be conscientious about living green, but I am embarrassed that I was so happily ignorant to these changes I could have made…

Where we can make these changes to help during and after the pandemic?!?..

It starts first of all by being consciously aware of the choices we make, knowing these choices can be challenging at first, but seeing firsthand how the practice of living with these changes can elevate our world of normal life, to an elevated new normal.

Secondly when these new economical choices are made, we can look to so many other areas in our life where we’ve been wasteful; excess of clothing, shoes, toys, cars, consumption of gasoline, over abundance of hair care products, makeup, and eating too many times a week at restaurants…. I could go on forever listing the items we over consume as a society.

Our earth she needs us now, she is calling out to us to embrace her as we embrace our loved ones to see the destruction of the past, and to step into the light of who you are, sit upon her, and gaze outwardly at the beauty she provides, and see that it is us to has brought her this harm, not always intentionally, but see that the past was what it was, and that the past has brought us to where we are now this quiet time to reflect, listen, expand out from our hearts grace and compassion.

What I’ve noticed in mine and my husbands lives is that we are working together to make time to be aware as we go to grab for that precious paper towel.. we are learning, and becoming so much more aware that this pertains to so many more ways we can make these “Very”important changes.

Within each of us is more energy that is outside of us, but it’s in how we expend the energy that gets put out into the world that makes the difference in how we can find the way to our “New” normal.

I would like to say “Thank You” again and again to every person in the world because I have seen so many acts of kindness of people sharing what they can with others, offering to get their groceries, offering to be there whenever love is needed. I’ve seen so much more self compassion in text message conversations, and social media posts about sharing photos of loved ones and pets, and really some of the silliest memes that have brought laughter and humor in these dark moments.

I know there are those that doubt the hype of this pandemic, and they are entitled to their awareness, but what I do know is that “THIS” is our time of transformation, to turn darkness into light, and to make those subtle changes, and to step into a slower pace of awareness, to smell the roses, to see the beauty of nature, listen to the sound and of the birds reminding us life is joy, to realize our health is wealth, take time to run and laugh, touch, feel, and see that we are all together a part of this collective consciousness. We are the totality of life, and this time might seem long and daunting to us now, but we “WILL” look back a year from now, and feel so happy we had this time to stop and feel into what is being brought into our awareness, and to see that life really is about love, and not acquiring things, or gaining love, it’s about sharing our love, helping those that are in need, and seeing that the longevity of our lives depend on our health, not the greediness of having it all, but in seeing that we already have it all. We have life, the greatest gift of all!

Thank you for doing your part to make these changes. It all stars with each and everyone of us taking that first step to move forward to walking each other back home. One decision at a time can and will heal our world!!

May we all feel the connection to the love that is eternal from my heart out to each and everyone of you, and May we all be healthy and live this glorious life in grace.

Once again, Thank you helpers for your unconditional love and for all that you do and for all your help to bring our world back to heath!!!

Please share with me some of the changes you’ve made, and how you’ve found ways to help others. I really want to know and get this conversation going so that as we share we can continue to grow and evolve.

Until next week loves,
♥️ C

You ARE your SUPERPOWER

I wrote this post two Tuesday’s ago thinking I’d be ready to post for “What up Wednesday’s post”, but it was more physical & mental energy than I had to finish this post.  I caught a cold… It’s been eight years since the last head cold I experienced, and to be honest with you not long enough since that last cold eight years ago… As I know you can all relate!

This past Sunday our world changed, and Nine beautiful lives left our physical world.  A day that has forever changed all of our lives, and the energy vortex of the world. 

I noticed as we were sitting enjoying brunch with friends the ease of the misty Sunday morning, the blanket of the clouds creating a soft energy of friends and families enjoying their time together, all was well in the world as we knew it.

The news it traveled fast, and the soft chatter arose to a deeper conversation as we all learned of the fateful crash of the helicopter that carried those nine precious lives…

Could this be true, no it’s just hype in the media was my first thought, no this could never be happening, all those lives passing on at once, all the joy and happiness of those families no longer in the air.. it was true.. it happened, and the world was forever changed.

I’ve noticed more talking, and more sharing of memories in families, and more kindness this last week, which has brought me back to this very subject of talking.

Go to thatgirlsyoga.wordpress.com to read more on the blog about talking and sharing, and how we all have are own unique  SUPERPOWER just as those nine beautiful lives.

CONT from Facebook and Instagram post;

It’s always been easy for me to talk to others when they need to talk.  It’s always felt so authentic for me to share with others when I need it, and for me to hold space for others.  It used to feel strange to me that it can be hard for some to share their feelings when it comes so naturally for me.  I’ve learned much about not pushing others to share when they need space to process, and am still continuing to learn this great art;)

I feel that we stopped talking and sharing because it can be so uncomfortable to talk about our feelings, and that it forces us to acknowledge these feelings regardless if they are good or bad.  This has been a subject that I’ve been intrigued to bring up for quite sometime, and after this last Sundays unexpected helicopter crash I’ve noticed a lot more connection, and talk among society. There’s been a lot of sharing in our feelings, and a lot of sharing of memories of these nine beautiful lives.  This has been one of those very very deep wound opening experiences that warrants these talks, and has brought a deeper closeness of lovers together knowing that they too could lose their spouse, and also I feel a deeper closeness of parents and children, siblings, friends, business acquaintances and overall a deep state of emotional awareness throughout the world. 

When a death of this magnitude happens it can also bring us to question our uniqueness in the world.  We all want to be remembered while we’re still in this physical world, and we also want to be remembered when it’s our time to pass.

Kobe Bryant left our world a changed man from his early days of playing basketball.  He learned to love his life in such a beautiful way, and also how he so eloquently brought service to others. Regardless if you liked him or not, all of our lives were affected with his SUPERPOWERS. Just as all nine lives on that fateful day have reminded us that it’s not how we leave this physical life, it’s how we live in each moment.

Remember when 911 happened,  and how there was so much loss of life, and all the families that were affected from these events, and how this truly affected each and every person in the world?  There was no way that a tragedy of this magnitude did not affect each and every human!  I remember thinking that each one of these people that lost their lives during 911 just how special their lives were, and how they got up that morning, most likely just like every other morning to go about their day not knowing it would be their last.. But in the wake of their last day, very much like the nine lives from the Helicopter crash they brought an awareness that awakened us beyond our thought comprehension that life is more precious than any of us can consciously imagine.  I remember feeling scared I might lose my family in a scary situation like 911, and also thinking that we need to wake up and see that our time here is short no matter how long we live in this physical world, regardless if we live to be 20, or 100, each moment just as precious as the next. 

So how do we find this awareness of our uniqueness, and the special gifts we bring into the world? How do we NOT FORGET  the gift of a new day, the smile from a baby, the kiss from our lovers lips, or the sweet hug from a loved one? How do we remember that we too are just as special as those that have left our physical world? And how do we not allow fear to take over our thoughts? How do we live in the most authentic way knowing that we are special and important in the world just by being in it?

Practice, practice, practice, practice the awareness that we do not need to be anything more than we already are.  Sounds easy enough right?!??? Yes Sounds easy, but there is a bit of work that goes into this process, and the very first component is to KNOW THAT YOU ARE SO VERY VERY IMPORTANT JUST BY BEING YOU!! We all have our very own SUPERPOWER of  being uniquely who we are.  There’s no secret really, it’s just by being YOU that makes your uniqueness your SUPERPOWER!! 

There is only one you, and only you can be uniquely you.  Read that again, and again… read it as many times as you need too, and let it sink in.  Take a moment after you’re done reading it, and close your eyes, and feel your breath as you breathe it in, notice that only you are uniquely breathing for yourself, in your own way, nobody else’s way, just your unique breath and you.  Feel how the breath fills you with your own unique energy, notice that energy as a big expansion of love that enters your body from the earth you stand upon, from the air that surrounds you, from the crisp blue sky above you, from all of life that surrounds you.  Notice that this love is being delivered to you breath after breath.  You already have all that you will ever need to be the unique individual that you are.  Our body is designed to house our heart and our vital organs so that we can have this experience we came into this physical form to have.  We are special just be being alive, that is our SUPERPOWER.

How do we keep this awareness and this practice in our conscious mind you might be thinking?  Gratitude for each moment we breathe, gratitude for each hug we receive, gratitude for each sunrise,  sunset, gratitude for toes that spread into the sand, gratitude for this opportunity we get to be alive.  

When we have gratitude it opens so many doors to new awareness, and gratitude can be from the simplest things such as your breath, a walk along the beach, looking and enjoying nature, and really just anything that there is to experience in life!  Here are some ways of cultivating gratitude that have helped me in my gratitude journey; a gratitude journal, or a jar that you write just one word a day of your gratitude, and fill the jar, or your journal up for the year, and at the end of the year re-read your words of gratitude. 

Writing these words does not need to be a long daunting task, it doesn’t need to be something you feel you need to do everyday, but Im telling you it really works!!!  

Gratitude can also come from knowing these two special gifts you get to open each day, (Yep I like to share this one a lot) your right eye, and your left eye.  It really is just that simple! 

Now don’t get me wrong I totally understand all too well the demands of life, and I know that I live a very privileged life, but I also know that I made this life happen for myself from changing my thought process from the minute I wake up each morning to gratitude for opening my eyes to each new day.  Life can be very demanding, and there are lots of stresses in life paying mortgages, car payments, bills etc, BUT we GET this opportunity to live this day, our SUPERPOWER is an important vital energy that the world needs in order to continue each day.  We all matter just by being alive, and even when it’s our time to leave this physical body our SUPERPOWER was, and will FOREVER be important to the collective energy in the world!!

SUPERPOWERS are not only just a form of strength, they are also and most importantly a place of being gentle with ourselves, and allowing ourselves grace.  We will all go through many challenges in our lives, and sometimes we will do things that we are not proud of, but these circumstances happen to bring us into awareness of when there is growth, and when we are ready to move on in our journey to serve our purpose of being in this physical form, the journey of love. 

Thank you Kobe for your incredible SUPERPOWERS, and for bringing the SUPERPOWER of your beautiful Gigi, John, Keri, Alyssa, Sarah, Payton, Christina, and Ara into our lives, and for the gift of this awareness that life is more precious than any other thing in this world!!

This last week has been incredibly challenging for us all to know that we lost Nine VERY VERY IMPORTANT lives, but also that these Nine lives gave us all the most beautiful gift, the gift of knowing that we all leave behind a legacy of the SUPERPOWER of who we are and that SUPERPOWER will live on FOREVER!!!!!!

Until next week loves,

C